I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
