): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It's blow job season.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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