i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
