i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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