ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
