Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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