What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
is it fun? or sober?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
