she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I still have a little drunk in my system
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
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