To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
