her vagine was all disorganized.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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