There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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