Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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