You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
