Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
