just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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