Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
