i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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