Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
