Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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