so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
