dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
