matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
oh god the rape fog is back!
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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