No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
