what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
