i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
