i'm signing you up for texting rehab
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
