thus making me awesome and them whores
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
