I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
