There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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