Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
