We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
