i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
