All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
vagina is talking i cant
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
