I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
