Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
