I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
