he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
