It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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