So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
