What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i love accidental penises.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
