i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
