After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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