Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
