They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
