At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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