we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
