There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
