Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
