I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
