If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
