come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
