awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
