...so i touched it.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
